06 March 2013

The Hemorrhoid Walker

Years ago, some friends and I went to a concert. Since the concert was far from where we lived and we had nowhere to stay, as soon as it was over, we had to hurry in order to catch the buses and the trains that would take us home. 
"Hurry Martin, hurry!" Martin wouldn't hurry. He was making this weird face like he had a cucumber  up his butt and he walked slowly. Painfully slow. We needed him to hurry, but he wouldn't, he couldn't. He had a problem that impeded him from hurrying. He didn't want to tell us what was wrong, but we knew exactly what the problem was. Martin should've had his fibers that week and left the little monsters at home, but instead, he brought them out for a walk and from his facial expressions, the nasty little fuckers had sharp teeth. We wouldn't leave our good friend behind, so instead, we slowed down… and made jokes. Yeah, evil was our middle name. Martin’s middle name was The Hemorrhoid Walker.


21 comments:

Nietzsche Infection said...

Those are some seriously wicked looking nasties. Hahaa! Poor guy.

Gabriel said...

yeah, it was a really hellish day for him.

Dr. Theda said...

Luckily that is one ailment which I do Not suffer... poor guy...

Octapolis said...

haha, you illustrate it really funny... fun and pain, hand in hand! ;o)

Gabriel said...

Dr. Theda - there are, of course, worse things to suffer from, but his difficulty in walking really opened my eyes to the problem.

Octapolis - especially when it's someone else's pain ;)
fortunately, i know how to laugh at myself, as well.

Dr. Theda said...

If we cannot "laugh" at ourselves... then we are Truly "Lost"...
Remember to just "Smile"...

Gabriel said...

"laugh, and the world laughs with you." :)

Jay Cutler said...

Although I agree with the general expression, the issue described in your post is no laughing matter. The illustration is funny, though.

Gabriel said...

everything's as funny and serious as we make it. we just have to find what better suits us.

melissa jones said...

This is a really strange post. It's kind of gross, but at the same time, it's kind of funny. I feel sorry for your friend, but at the same time I caan't stop laughing. Evil, indeed. :D

Gabriel said...

evil, but only a little bit.

Kat said...

The hairy butt... Monsters coming out of it...This is so hilariously funny! Luv it!

Gabriel said...

thanks, Kat. wasn't sure how the hairy butt was going to turn out, but i'm pretty happy with the result

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of the freakiest things I've ever seen.

Gabriel said...

even if that wasn't a compliment, i'm taking it as one. freaky was what i was going for.

Anonymous said...

It was actually. :o)

Gabriel said...

cheers!

Fainting Spell said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Your illustration looks like me after a tour of the local Taco Bell.

Gabriel said...

haha! the little monsters like to 'think outside the buns.' ;)

David said...

HAHAHA! Good one!